


Here.

by kiyala



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kieren keeps expecting Simon to leave. Simon keeps expecting Kieren to tell him to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anemonepetrie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemonepetrie/gifts).



Two weeks after Amy's funeral, Simon is still in Roarton. The town is adjusting its views after the events of the fair, after Maxine Martin. He can see the way that those who initially favoured Victus are wavering now, wonders if this place will ever become the town Kieren wants it to be.

With the way things are going, Simon might even be around to find out for himself. Kieren wants him to stay and Simon doesn't know what to do with that, except to stay. He catches Kieren watching him sometimes, with a look that says he can't quite believe that Simon is still here. He'll turn away when he's caught, with a small embarrassed smile. He doesn't _expect_ Simon to stay and that in itself is enough to keep him where he is.

Kieren's wearing the same expression as he stands on the doorstep of the bungalow. He looks tiny in his large coat, and like he can't quite believe that he's looking at Simon. Nobody else lives in the bungalow now, because the others have closed themselves up and moved to Zoe's house instead. Simon isn't concerned about it the way Kieren is. He doesn't need them. Not when he has Kieren.

Flashing him that small, embarrassed smile, Kieren swings his arms and his coat with them. "You ready?"

Simon nods, taking in Kieren's bare skin, his pale eyes. "Yeah."

"You're… looking at me," Kieren says uncertainly.

Simon smiles. "I am."

With a quiet huff, Kieren steps closer to Simon, pressing their lips together. Simon holds on, savouring the contact. There's no warmth of two bodies against each other and Kieren's lips are nothing more than pressure against his own. Simon doesn't feel their softness, doesn't taste anything, and it doesn't matter. He's allowed this and it's more than enough.

Kieren pulls away, panting softly for air he doesn't need. Simon wants to pull him back in, wants to keep him in the circle of his arms for as long as he can. He rocks back on his heels to resist the temptation.

"You always do that," Kieren mutters.

"Do what?" Simon asks, but all he gets in reply is the gentle curve of a half-smile.

"Come on," Kieren says, and starts walking.

They walk side by side, hands in their pockets, to the graveyard. Simon knows where Amy's empty grave is from memory, from the turned soil that has been evened out once again. He stops walking when he sees the red hat perched on the gravestone, identical to the ones Steve had made them all wear during Christmas dinner the previous night.

Kieren turns back to look at him, but keeps walking. Simon catches the sad smile on his face all the same. 

They stop in front of the grave, standing there in silence. Simon has nothing to say when Amy isn't really there, when nobody he has contacted for information has replied to him. It doesn't make a difference to Kieren, who mourns his friend's absence either way. Kieren doesn't know what to say, opening and closing his mouth as thoughts come to him and flee, one after another. Simon takes his hand and they stand together, ignoring and ignored by the others come to visit their loved ones, individual bubbles of grief floating past each other. 

They have the day to themselves. Simon is happy to stand here for as long as Kieren wants. 

Kieren is quiet on the way back, pensive, keeping Simon's hand in his own. There's nothing to say that hasn't already been said, there's little to be done beyond giving Kieren all the space and time that he needs.

Perhaps it's selfish of Simon to be glad that Kieren keeps him close. Perhaps not, from the way Kieren seems to need his company, the way Simon needs his. They get to the bungalow, sit down together, and Simon wishes Kieren could feel the thumb brushing across the back of his hand. He keeps doing it anyway, hoping that the action will be as comforting as the feeling once was.

Kieren looks down at their hands, then up at Simon. With a small, unsure smile, Simon leans a tiny bit forward. He starts when Kieren leans in to meet him halfway, to kiss him hard. Simon's hands go to Kieren's face, thumbs stroking the cheeks beneath them. He kisses and kisses, until Kieren pulls away, giving him a curious look.

"I'm not going anywhere, you know."

Simon nods once. "Neither am I."

With a smile that tells Simon that he's said something incredibly right, Kieren kisses him again. "I want you here, you know. With me. Stupid reindeer sweater and all."

Simon makes a low, amused sound, looking don at himself and the sweater in question. "This was a _present_."

"Yeah." Kiern covers one of the reindeer in the pattern with his hand, just above where Simon's heart used to beat. "From my _dad_."

"It was thoughtful."

"It's hideous."

Simon laughs quietly. "You like it, though."

For a moment, Kieren looks like he wants to deny it. Instead, he clears his throat. "Only because you're in it. I'm—glad you haven't left."

"There's a silent _yet_ at the end of that." Simon looks Kieren in his pale, beautiful eyes. Kieren holds his gaze, neither confirming nor denying it. "There doesn't need to be."

Kieren smiles then, looking unconvinced as he begins to turn away.

"Hey." Simon stops him, a hand resting on the side of his neck. "I mean it. I'm not—I'm not going to disappear like I did before. I'm not going to leave until you ask me to."

"You don't understand, do you?" Kieren places his hand over Simon's. "I'm not going to ask you to leave. I don't _want_ you to go And no, there's no silent _yet_ at the end of that one. I'm serious."

Simon nods slowly, forcing the corners of his lips into a smile as he tries to believe it. Kieren sighs, bringing Simon's hand to his lips. 

"I could never ask you to leave."

He says it like he almost doesn't mean for it to come out. Simon's smile turns genuine. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah." Simon pulls Kieren into his arms, thinking that perhaps he just might get away with holding onto him indefinitely after all. "Okay." 

Kieren rests his head on Simon's shoulder, like he has no intention of leaving. It'll take a while for Simon to get used to this, but he's beginning to feel like he'll actually get there.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a slightly belated birthday fic for [Katie](http://lukeblooberry.tumblr.com/), who has been wanting me to watch In the Flesh for a really long time now. Apparently, the stars aligned and I finally finished it watching it just a couple of days before her birthday. 
> 
> She wanted Christmas fluff set post season 2. I don't think the fluff bit worked out very well.


End file.
